


A Night on the Town

by Pugcifer



Series: Peter Parker Needs Sleep [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Flirting, Fluff, Identity Porn, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Poor Peter Parker, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25965499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pugcifer/pseuds/Pugcifer
Summary: Peter really should learn how to sleep. Or at least how to keep his mouth shut while exhausted. Neither of those things happened tonight, which is how he ends up flirting with Deadpool while on patrol. Only Wade doesn't know that his boyfriend, Peter Parker, is none other than Spiderman and therefore he needs to set the record straight so Spidey doesn't get any ideas.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Series: Peter Parker Needs Sleep [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1884628
Comments: 11
Kudos: 354





	A Night on the Town

Peter Parker is in love. Love with a capital “L” and too far gone to make it back alive. This becomes very clear as Peter hits the third day of no sleep. Wade is the only thing on his exhausted mind and every splash of red in the city has him spinning on his heels to spot the man.

Sadly, the object of his affection has been away for nearly four weeks. Deadpool has finally taken SHIELD up on their job offer, but those jobs tend to run on longer than anticipated. Peter has listened to many rants on how the strict “no kill” protocol ruined Deadpool’s regular level of efficiency. Despite the length of the jobs, the chance to meet the one and only Captain America seems to have made the work worthwhile. If Wade's constant smile on the topic is to be judged, that is.  Unfortunately, the trips taking forever left Peter on edge and made him stay up filled with worry. This trip is one such occasion. Wade claimed he would only be gone for two weeks and it has been well past that.

Realistically, Peter knows that little to nothing can kill Deadpool let alone slow him down much, but the pain is very real no matter how much he regenerates. Peter is always the one left holding Wade when his PTSD - from falling 100 stories or being executed, or any of the 1000s of ways he has died - resurfaces. 

So, Peter is swinging through the city to keep his brain from thinking the worst. The lights of the city are almost hypnotic, attempting to lull the him to sleep in mid air. Unfortunately, they trigger a headache instead. At least the pain of it helps him focus during his scan of the night life on the ground. 

Peter stops to catch his breath, balancing on a gargoyle, and looks out over the buildings into the slowly brightening sky. He can’t remember what time he left the apartment, nor how he got to this area of the city. It's a lot closer to the Avengers' tower than he normally patrols. After they tried to dig up his secret identity, Peter made an effort to avoid the group. It also helped him hide his super identity from his partner, Peter didn't want to ruin what he had with Wade. 

Peter takes a deep breath and jumps off the gargoyle. His hand throws a web as he glances at the rising sun again. The golden rays light up the nearby roof tops and glistens brightly against the red and black of a familiar suit. Peter exhales through the plummet and catch of his webs before he processes what he saw and is throwing his head back towards that building! His heart is pounding in his chest, eyes straining to see the rooftop again as he swings up - 

Spiderman rams into the brick wall of another building. His head explodes with pain and the city noise is cut out by a high pitched ringing in his ears. Instinct has him sticking to the wall instead of falling back towards the ground, which is lucky because Peter struggles to breathe into his now bruised lungs for a second. A few seconds pass and the pain fades to prioritize the new information that ran him head first into a wall. Deadpool is back!!!!! 

He's only a few stories from the roof so Peter starts climbing. His internal organs make themselves known during this climb and Peter grits his teeth against the pain. He’s lucky he didn’t break his nose on impact, resetting that hurts like a bitch. He has to stop for a second on the roof before his excitement gets a hold of him and he's jumping again. He flicks his wrist and barely tamps down the squeal of excitement that his partner is finally home!

* * *

Spiderman is on the rooftop before he can think up a plan of action. While on good terms with Deadpool in his superhero form, it is rare that they speak more than to coordinate a mission or for the rare shared meal. Peter’s confidence plummets a bit when he lands and his leg nearly gives out. But then he sees Wade. Dressed in the standard red and black suit, katanas strapped to his back and guns - both literal and muscular, Peter giggles in his head - all over his body. His partner in crime, partner in everything, the red and black to his red and blue. He really should have slept more before trying to fight crime or think about his significant other. 

Peter’s eyes are glued to Deadpool, missing the rest of the party who have all turned to stare at him. There is silence for a bit before Deadpool squeals happily and runs over to pull Spiderman into a hug. Peter melts into it instantly, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep in Wade’s arms.

“Spidey! Are you our welcome party for such a successful mission?" Deadpool’s voice is pitched into a goofy happiness and Peter feels himself stiffen at the nickname. Right, he couldn’t just fall asleep on his boyfriend when said boyfriend doesn’t know who he is. He pulls away and looks to the rest of the people standing around them. 

Peter’s gaze flits around taking in the group that is more or less just the Avengers. The big names are there such as Captain America, the Black Widow and Ironman. The Hulk is missing, gone back to his medical and inner peace finding journey. The rest of them are unfamiliar to Peter and he doesn't bother trying to place names, he just doesn't care at this point. Peter gulps around the lump in his chest, the last time they were all around him they tried to force him to reveal his identity. Tearing at his mask and hounding him until he managed to swing away. 

“Spiderman,” Captain America nods in greeting, “We weren’t expecting you around these parts tonight. Everything alright?” 

“Maybe the little arachnid is here to join us, why else would he track us down when all of us are here?” Black Widow is looking down her nose at him, eyes narrowed and face cold. Peter takes a step back and straightens up in an attempt to seem bigger. “Is it, little spider? Because otherwise you’re intruding on classified business and we’ll have to request you leave.” 

Alright, so maybe Peter doesn’t have the best relationship with the Avengers. It was mostly born from how they excluded him in SHIELD’s initial search party for members. Because sure they are willing to take the giant green guy with poor anger management but somehow a well established superhero in New York City deserves second rate treatment. That and their attempt to force him to join and register with the government controlled mutant roster. It all rubbed him the wrong way. And right now he really just wishes he could go home and get Wade to rub him the  _ right  _ way.

“Captain, my captain, sooo great to see you and all but I’m really just here to check on the sexiest SHIELD employee, Deadpool. Not to say that you aren’t sexy, but really the whole from another era thing turns me off.” Shocked looks and a snort from Wade are all he receives, so Peter takes a step back towards the ledge. “Heard you were off on a mission, can’t say I missed your justice loving ass but I'm glad you made it back with him,” Peter jerks his thumb in Deadpool’s direction,” and his cute butt in one piece.” 

Peter spins on his back foot to face the edge of the roof and steps into nothing with his other one. As he falls, wrist snapping out for a web, he hears Tony yell, “What the fuck, Spiderman?” and a squeal of excitement from his partner. Really he should have expected the next bit.

A large mass hitting him midair and arms squeezing around his neck are such a surprise that Peter fucks up his next throw and they nearly run into a building. His chest clenches tight in shock and from the adrenaline at the near miss. He forces a deep breath and flings a web towards the quieter part of town.

“What on earth! Deadpool???” Peter’s voice is way too high and loud but he can’t help it as he searches frantically for a reasonable place to land. He feels Deadpool’s weight shift and his unoccupied hand drops to grab at the other hero’s suit. It lands too low and grabs onto a tight and spandex covered ass. Peter’s brain freezes but when Deadpool starts laughing his hand reacts and flies away. 

“Now, now, Spidey. Despite how cute your little exit from the Avengers was. I got to think about my baby boy at home and ask you to not grope the merchandise.” Wade’s voice is low in his ear, warm against Peter's ear even through the suit, and Peter can’t help the shiver that goes down his spine. 

They hit the next rooftop hard and roll until Spiderman is on top of Deadpool and trying very hard to think of something to say. Peter’s heart is beating hard, the only thing he hears even though he can feel the vibrations of Wade talking. He starts moving, pushing himself up, before the world swims dizzily. Giving up, Peter collapses onto and hugs the masked hero below him. Deadpool is laughing again, his chest shaking under Peter’s ear, and he hugs him back. 

“Glad to know your pretty head is still screwed on too tight, DP.” Peter mutters into the still giggling man’s chest. Said chest is so comfortable, even through layers of spandex and leather. Peter snuggles in a bit which causes Deadpool to freeze and start squirming to get up.

“Aw, Spidey you got a crush or something? You ain’t even seen this face, and it sure as hell isn’t pretty.” Deadpool does an imitation southern belle accent and is waving his face with a pretend fan. “You ought to stop with the flattery before I run to my Peter and tell him of your sultry ways.” 

Peter stands up and brushes the dirt off his suit. There is a tear along the back of his leg, some blood coming through but otherwise not too bad injury wise. Avoiding looking at Deadpool, the urge to run into his arms still very present, Peter says, “Well, I am glad you made it back home. I’m sure Peter is too. You should run along to him anyways , before I get lost in your eyes and refuse to let you go.” The hilarity of acting jealous of his alter ego does not encourage Peter to stop running his mouth. 

“Well then, Spidey, I did not take you for the flirtatious one in our duo. I thought I had that pegged when we first met. Though I think my assumption that you haven’t been pegged yet is still accurate.” Deadpool leers at Spiderman as he walks over to the edge of the building. 

“Nah, I just tend to not flirt on the job or with people who are, let’s be honest, complete dicks. You on the other hand, you’re exactly who I was looking for tonight.” Honesty has always been Peter’s best avenue for flirting, after all he has been swinging around town all week looking for the red and black dressed man. “And it may be the sleep deprivation talking, but you are looking damn fine in your suit tonight, DP.” Peter’s brain has gone offline, he is 85% sure he just winked at Deadpool too. Everything is just flowing out of his mouth, no filter, and he really needs to get home and get some sleep.

“You are looking pretty fine yourself, Spidey, though the listing to the side is an agreement to your exhaustion.” Deadpool tilts his head like a confused kitten, “Why don’t I help get you home so you don’t pass out in a dumpster?” 

Peter panics, he can’t lead Deadpool home to the apartment he shares with the man. That would reveal his big secret and he doesn’t want to deal with that while struggling to stay awake. 

“It’s alright, DP, I gotta head anyways and besides I just wanted to check in and see why we haven’t had a taco night in forever.” Peter shakes his head while starting to walk towards the edge where Wade is still standing. “Besides, don’t you have your boyfriend to get back to? Don’t want him to think he’s been abandoned, do ya?” He sighs fondly as Deadpool jumps at that reminder of Peter and stares off into the now early morning sky, muttering about his baby boy and sparklers. “I’ll see ya later, Wade.” Peter whispers his goodbye and jumps off the roof. 

He’s half way home before he remembers that Deadpool never told Spiderman his first name. Peter debates the pros and cons of running into a building and trying to get amnesia to forget about this encounter, but decides sleep will wash away the cringiness of it all.

* * *

Peter nearly collapses when he lands in the alley behind his apartment. The webbed up backpack that he hid behind a dumpster is still there and he quickly exchanges his suit for sweats and a t-shirt. He throws the suit and web shooters in the bag, wipes off the webs and walks towards his apartment building. 

Each step is heavy and slow, his whole body aching from exhaustion and multiple collisions. Peter’s head is pounding and each honk from nearby cars and yell from an opening shop feels like being stabbed in the head. The elevator is broken - of course - so he climbs 8 flights of stairs and is swaying as he unlocks the door. The only good thing on his trip home occurs when he shoves the door open.

“Surprise!” Peter blinks in shock as the door falls open to reveal his boyfriend holding sparklers and with a shiny bow on his head. Wade is standing just inside the living room, wearing sweats and a Spiderman hoodie - which Wade claimed he got in support of the fellow red superhero - while smiling widely at Peter. 

Peter drops his bag and flings himself at his partner. Kissing his face and hoping that Wade puts the sparklers somewhere safe while he hugs the life out of him. 

“You had me so worried, Wade! You said a week or two!” Peter keeps pressing kisses against his partners face, trying to show how much he cares despite the anger in his voice. Wade chuckles and lifts Peter up, hugging him close. 

“You wouldn’t believe how much I missed you baby boy, but there were some terrible people who SHIELD okayed me to unalive and they went out with such a bang, cutie patootie. Literal bang, the explosion was beautiful.” Wade’s voice was full of awe as he continued recounting his journey. Peter hmm-ed and ahh-ed at the appropriate moments and laid his head on Wade’s chest. This time he didn’t try to stop himself from falling asleep on his boyfriend’s broad chest. A happy grin took over his face as he slid into unconsciousness, just barely aware of Wade carrying him over to the bed while still talking about the benefits of blowing up an enemy’s base. Peter felt safe again, safe enough to finally fall asleep, curled around his partner.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a prequel to my fic Web of Lies and is a running joke on how peter parker can not get enough sleep ever apparently. This fic also made me realize that I can not flirt nor really figure out how to write a character flirting so... that was fun.  
> Thank you so much for reading this, hope you enjoyed it !!!


End file.
